They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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