hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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