Sry I called you an 8
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize