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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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