sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
