Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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