I think I am morally bankrupt
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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