i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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