i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
pop tarts are not kleenex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize