I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
