what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
