So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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