That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
