Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i dont even know how to be here
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize