I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
