Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
