margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
