thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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