Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
