I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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