also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
