Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
