dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
