just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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