You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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