Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
