You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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