Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
