If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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