plz talk dirty to me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
