I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
