You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
