Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
