well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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