Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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