Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
