is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
