Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
