All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
