just survived the first fart of the relationship.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
