I'm so fucking centered right now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
