I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
