are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize