i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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