Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
