fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize