we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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