You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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