God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
