he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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