I'm going to jail i love you
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
