Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
