just come out here and I will go home with you...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor