first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.