the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
BRING THE BAGELS
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick