I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.