Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?