i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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