AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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