dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the day after is always just damage control
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
