Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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