3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
