Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
