she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
