I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
