jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
