i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
