Tell her she can't have a vagina
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
