I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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